Terms of Service

1. Acceptance of Terms (Such as They Are)

By accessing PeterPoints.com, you acknowledge that you are entering a satirical friend economy governed by the whims of Peter. These terms are legally meaningless but spiritually binding. Peter's word is law. His decisions are final, arbitrary, and occasionally based on whether he's had coffee yet.

2. What Peter Points Are NOT

Peter Points (PP) are not: currency, cryptocurrency, securities, tokens, rewards points, airline miles, store credit, IOUs, promissory notes, NFTs, or anything else with real-world value. They are fictional units of friendship measurement. They cannot be traded, sold, transferred, inherited, bequeathed, or used as collateral. If someone offers you real money for PP, they are confused.

3. Point Issuance & Deduction

Points are issued and deducted at the sole discretion of Peter and his designated administrators. There is no appeals court. There is no HR department. There is no ombudsman. There is only Peter. Negative balances are possible and are considered a personal failing on your part.

4. Redemption Policy

Redemption requests are exactly that: requests. Peter may approve, deny, or ignore them at his leisure. Approved redemptions deduct points from your balance. Denied redemptions cost nothing but your dignity. Response times range from "immediately" to "when Peter feels like it."

5. Account Termination

Peter reserves the right to deactivate any account for any reason, including but not limited to: being unfunny, bringing bad vibes, asking if PP can be converted to Bitcoin, or simply being a person Peter has decided to mildly inconvenience that day.

6. Privacy

We collect the bare minimum data needed to run this satirical economy. We don't sell your data. We don't share your data. Peter might tell his friends your username and balance at a party, though. That's kind of the point.

7. Limitation of Liability

PeterPoints.com is provided "as is" and "as Peter wants it." We are not responsible for any emotional distress caused by point deductions, denied redemptions, or discovering your rank on the leaderboard. Maximum liability is 0 PP, which, as previously established, is worth nothing.

8. Amendments

Peter can change these terms at any time without notice. He probably won't read them again either. But they're here, and that counts for something.

Last updated: The day this was deployed. Effective: The moment Peter said "ship it."